Devil's Dancehall

okay, here's beta 1
of the Devil's Dancehall

There was once a mad scientist named Ragu [chemicals bubbling and lfo's], who slaved all his days under the heavy handed dark lord of the universe Lucifer [whip crack and a deep chuckle w/ delay]. On many occasions he was made to stay up all night in the lab researching and experimenting with different kinds of electronic sounds. But despite his hard work, he was never told to what ends his work would be put. He developed the most secret of techniques...

scene 1

Ragu approaches the throne of Lucifer in a huddle, eyes averted and face sallow. He extends his hands and reveals a red button,

Ragu

My lord(cough), here is the button as you requested, with a little more low end and harmonic distortion.

as lucifer grabs at the button he cowers away

Lucifer

(growls, then chuckles as he reaches a slimy finger towards the red button) yes, now give it to me you slimy piece of filth

now...

presses the button, a low warbly farting bass sound happens that makes Ragu's hair fly back and a light emits, everything dies down and Ragu looks up

Lucifer

NNOOOO!!! Dammit you worthless sack of rot, I said more lfo on the filter, not the second operator, if I wanted it to sound like a dying cow I would have recorded the sound of your wife when I had my way with her before her, before her, untimely death hahaha!

Ragu

I'm going to get you

Ragu runs at Lucifer only to be shot across the room by magic (tint red)
NOO!!

Lucifer
now you are going to go back down there and you're not coming back up until I hear a sound that will drive young adults into the clubs like flocks of goats. guards, take this mad scientist back where he belongs, and make sure he doesn't escape

fade out...

Ragu is back in the lab, listening to sounds and turning knobs
frustrated, he decides to take a break...
he falls asleep on accident
in his sleep, he dreams he is with his wife again
first they are running through a generic field of love
next thing he knows they are laying in bed with their clothes off and he is playing with her nipple
wha wha wha she says
wha wha wha he says
whomp whomp whomp whomp
this time her mouth is frozen and she looks confused by the whomping sound that seems to be associated with the playing of her nipples
just then
boom
she's gone and Ragu wakes to find that his hand has slipped onto the cutoff filter in his sleep
whomp whomp
Ragu looks terrified

from above

Lucifer

Ragu! bring me that sound! guards, get Ragu and make him bring me that sound, Ragu, give me the sound... that, that, [camera moves into Lucifer's face] ~whomp whomp~

to himself
I felt a chill go through my spine that can only mean one thing, I must seek the oracle...

Lucifer billows out in a dark cloud of smoke.

[scene 3]

darkness at first and then chanting begins
candles flickering
then a giant cauldron steaming full of mysterious things and colors (greenscreen in the cauldron?)
from above
hands over the cauldron, and a hmming

Oracle

The sound you seek wields the darkest of forces my Lord. I can only hint at the great power locked within.

Lucifer

Yes yes, I know this already, but back to my question, what does the sound sound like?

Oracle

aahh questions to questions, what does it sound like you ask me, you will know when you hear



Lucifer

ahh yes it is clear to me now, I will know it by the sound and from then and then on I will make it known to the universe and execute my great plan. muahaha

Oracle

I fear it is already too late...


cut to black

[scene 4]

Ragu is human powering a set of turntables while Lucifer selects the fresh record carefully and places it on the spinning table. A crackle is heard and the cigarette Lucifer is smoking ashes on the carpet. Ragu is sweating and looking miserable and terrified.

dark pads
Lucifer's eyes are focused
Ragu continues to run in place, breaking a sweat and hunching over

Lucifer

this is the sound the oracle has prophesized, a sound that will crown a new king and mark the beginnings of a time of great darkness and suffering, hahaha

whomp whomp

Ragu sweats and slaves on looking up at Lucifer in terror, having just realized what he has done...


the record skips as Ragu falls and Lucifer yells

You idiot! take this mongrel away, and make sure he gets a good nights sleep hahaha

Guards
hahaha

Lucifer
hahahaha
thats right you're also idiots so its not so funny is it?
get out of my sight, I need to preview 6 more records before sundown, we have deadlines to fulfill...
we'll let the goat do the rest of the work for today
guards bring me the goat




they bring in a goat and put it on the treadmill/hamster cage thing

[scene 4]
meanwhile down in the dungeon, a rat attempts to steal Ragu's dinner
Ragu kills the rat and eats it on site, adding it to his dinner
which is pasta

with no sauce

Ragu
guard?

Guard
back animal, back! we gave you your food, now sit down and eat it like a good little scientist, and stop eating rats! hits the cage and spits carelessly after, silence ensues in which Ragu reconsiders his argument he pulls out a book called NLS and begins to read

Ragu
I hate to interrupt your ponderous silence, but if you get me some pasta sauce for this pasta plate, which is currently sauceless, I will refrain from possessing your soul with the new sound I developed yesterday

Guard
what?

Ragu
exactly, your consciousness is not prepared for you to not answer the question, just think of the rewards,
its really about the rewards
which you either deserve or don't deserve
but either way the prizes are what's worth it,
for anyone like you
think about it
fully customizable options
in any color you want
its not me,
its you
I can only show you the best way
and try to protect you from something we wouldn't want to see happen
would we?

Guard
no, thats not what I was saying, I mean yeah, or...

Ragu
oh really,
because I was under the impression that sauce is what
you had been claiming was rightly part of
more rewards options for you and your family, plus you
could be a winner at something bigger than yourself...
think about it.
so get with the picture
pick yourself up
and go get some sauce okay.

Guard
okay

Ragu
there you go, I'm proud of you

guard goes to get the sauce------>>>

upon return Ragu is unresponsive in his cage
he sits still
not moving

the guard approaches, curious and slightly afraid (indicated by the music, tension builds)

Ragu begins to make the whomp whomp sound
boowhomp boowhomp clap, boo boo boo boo clap

repeats with eyes averted as he stands slowly

the guard begins to sway back and forth to the music, his eyes roll back in his head and he looks like in mortal kombat when it says “finish him!”

Ragu takes the pasta sauce from the guard's hand and dumps it on his pasta, continuing to beatbox and shaking his hair from side to side like a manson mammoth

close up of the guards face a look of total vegetation, a zombie like dance with a slight smile and hands at sides

beatboxing begins to get quieter and quieter, eventually it stops and for a minute the guard remains entranced, after a while he begins to snap out of it

cut to
Ragu hurrying down the hallway with a plate of pasta in one hand and a ghetto blaster over the other shoulder. only a bassline

he runs up some stairs,
and through a kitchen
out the front door
and into suburbia

the music at this point is extremely sinister dub
cut to
Lucifer is mixing in the next track

camera zooms in on speakers as the whomp whomp begins

Lucifer
yes
ha ha ha
yes
this is the sound of the prophesy
I will be crowned soon, my final victory as foretold by the oracle
no one can stop me
yes
this is my time
oh me
oh my
Tonight it will begin.

cut to black
Ragu is still running

Ragu
oh what have I done
he'll never let me see the light of day again
its okay
at least I am getting some fresh air
oh but I have to stop his terrible plot

he see's a sign for a big rave gathering and realizes that tonight is the night

he goes to the rave but it is too late
the movie ends when he runs into the club
up a long spiraling staircase
and into the main room where he hears the thundering roar of his own creation
he looks around and says

NOOOOO!!!!